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September 17, 2017, 8:11 PM

Unfair! Extravagant Forgiveness

by Sandy Bach

21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church[a] sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven[b] times 23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents[c] was brought to him; 25 and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. 26 So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii;[d] and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. 31 When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. 32 Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. 35 So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister[e] from your heart.” (Matthew 18:21-35 NRSV)

Note:  This is part two of a three-part series entitled, “Unfair!”  We will look at some texts that may make us feel uncomfortable, even angry and want to say to God, “That’s not fair!”

"Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me."

These are not words Jesus lived by.

You see, the particular congregation is unique.  Last week we pointed out that church isn't meant to be a civic group, nor a business entity, nor a not-for-profit organization.  Though a church holds a few aspects of each of these, it still stands out as uniquely different.  It's a place where members can let down their guard and be themselves.  They work together, pray together, break bread together.  They build trust within the group and then go out to share with the world.

At least, that's the way it's meant to be.  Being human, we often sin and an authentic church will point it out and help restore that person.  But what if they continue sinning?

That's a good question, and Peter isn't afraid to bring it up with Jesus.  In fact, he knows Jesus to be a generous man, so tries to second-guess him.  "How often should I forgive?  How about seven times?  That's a good number.  A heavenly number."

"Peter, I want you to quit counting.  That's what legalistic religious folk do.  They count up their mint and dill to make sure they tithe a perfect amount.  They use the law to get around behaving compassionately with people.  No, Peter.  I want you to forgive over and over and over again."

He sees the disappointment and horror on Peter's face.  Peter and the disciples clearly need a parable.

The lord of the manner is extravagant in many ways.  He's extravagant in his lending to the slave.  ten thousand talents is like saying "a bazillion million."  It's a ridiculous amount, unpayable by anyone.  The lord is also extravagant in his punishment.  In Jewish tradition, debtors prison was against the law.  In Greek and Roman law, it was permitted but rarely used.

The slave repents and begs for mercy.  How often do we repent and beg for mercy when we've hurt someone?  How often has someone repented with you when they've obviously hurt you?  Perhaps the slave had no other choice, but he found himself on his knees and asked for time to make it up.

Once again, the lord is extravagant.  He forgives the entire debt!  That's unheard of!  Out of great love and mercy, he graciously sets aside the debt.  The slave is free to go, his family safe from prison.  He can begin his life anew, debt free!

Here's the part we don't like.  The slave refuses to forgive the debt of a fellow slave.  The debt was high, about 100 days wages.  The forgiven slave had received lavish grace and forgiveness, and instantly forgot.  So, he gives his fellow slave what's coming to him--debtor's prison.

Don't like him much, do you?  Yet, isn't he us?  Seeing the personification of sin instead of children of God?  Afraid to show weakness and vulnerability?  We want the sinner to earn our forgiveness, to measure up.  Forgiving repeatedly is reckless irresponsible.

Yet, God forgives us multiple times.  Sometimes in one day!  Perhaps we should pay it forward.

Jesus taught us last week that we first confront the sinner and do everything possible to restore her to the congregation.  But, she has to be willing.  If not, she dishonors herself and the church.

But, we have to forgive for another reason.  Ourselves.  If we hang onto the wound, it damages us.  The behavior isn't forgiven and forgotten.  We have to let go so that we can remain authentic followers of Jesus.  We don't put people on probation.  At the same time, we don't deny our own hurt, nor do we minimize it.  It may take some time to move through this process.  We can do no less than what the lord of the manner did for the slave who owed a bazillion million.

I was falsely accused of something when I was in high school.  My accuser was one of the ministers, a person a highly regarded.  The church went to bat for me.  And I was counseled and allowed to feel the pain.  And, somewhere deep inside I refused to allow it to ruin church for me.  When the truth finally came out and I was exonerated, I had already forgiven.

Since that time, I understand all to well how church members can hurt and wound each other.  Furthermore, how church members surround the sinner and the wounded to bring life back.

What about the sinner?  What about that torture that's promised?

After King David took Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, and impregnated her.  He tried to cover it up and ultimately had Uriah murdered.  When Nathan the prophet approached David, he laid it out fully and completely.  David responded, "I have sinned against the Lord." (2 Samuel 12:13)  And in those words we feel David's mounting shame.  Psalm 51 is the result, when David cries out to God to, "purge me with hyssop...) (Ps 51:7a)

Ever been caught for doing something you shouldn't have done?  Wasn't the torture awful?  It blinds us as we almost double over in pain.  The shock is too much.  The only way through it is to face it.

This isn't easy stuff.  Lavish forgiveness from God, demands that we lavishly forgive the one sitting in the pew across from us.  Extravagance from God makes us want to be extravagant, as well.

I think that we do this more often than we give ourselves credit for.  We know our neighbor in the pew beside us.  We understand him, perhaps more than others do.  Because of that we make allowances and excuse some poor behavior.  After all, he's part of the "family."  We don't forget, but we do let it go.  And, a healthy relationship demands that we counsel him if he continues to misbehave.

Yet, sometimes we hurt more deeply than we realize.

Will  you allow one person (or even many) to ruin your relationship with God?  Or will you forgive and move on and allow your valuable friends to care for you?  Will you acknowledge the pain and move through it?

Will your use that painful memory to help others?  Will you help them acknowledge the sin and pain?  Will you help them refuse to let it ruin their lives?

Will you reflect Jesus' call to forgive over and over and over again?

 

It's unfair when we first look at it.  Unfair to forgive repeatedly.  But, when we behave like the forgiven servant and treat others poorly, it's unfair to them.

And, it's unfair to ourselves.

It dishonors Jesus and his Church.

All glory and honor be to God.

Amen.

 


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